Ready to flow back into the world again, at least mostly. Looking forward to reading other blogs, catching up a little, after I write this post. Working in my studio again, making progress on a couple of old projects. Back to walking with my neighbor and her dogs. Worked in our yard for a while with my husband today. Lip surgery healing well, my face no longer an embarrassment of bruises.
In other words, I'm baaaaaack.
Mostly.
Part of me is still holding onto Mama, still trying to grasp the finality of our physical separation, still catching myself in the fantasy that she's right there in Minnesota at the nursing home waiting for me to come visit her for a week next month. Part of me thinks about her most of my waking hours, remembering, noticing mannerisms we have in common, thinking what she might say to me about things I say or do. This part of me isn't always sad. Sometimes it feels really good to see her face in my mind. Sometimes I have to chuckle when I do something for which I've criticized her in the past.
The bigger part of me, however, is headed into spring, longer-warmer-sunnier days, with eager anticipation. All parts of me are able to look at food a little more sensibly now. I have a new if-then goal: If I'm staring at the cupboard shelf or into the refrigerator and it's not about preparing a scheduled meal or doing inventory for grocery shopping, then I'm drinking a full glass of water and leaving the kitchen. Nice, huh!
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Gratitude for the day: my friends Liz, Cathy, Christy and Lunnette; shooting stars, mosses and lichens
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Welcome back! Be gentle with yourself, tho. Deb
ReplyDeleteYep, no hurry. It's wonderful to have such treasured memories... I enjoy reading them.
ReplyDeleteI had forgotten about your If-Then post. Thanks for the reminder. :-)
Loretta
=^..^=
Welcome back! If only we two or more of ourselves that could each satisfy the 'parts of me'. I guess it depends which 'part of me' is winning that gives us good days and bad days, the ups and downs of life. Enjoy your walks in the emerging spring and well done for getting back on track with your food plan.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but I can't leave a comment. I love that picture of Ferne. I am glad your feeling a little better.
ReplyDeleteGlad you feel better Robin. Very glad you are back on track.
ReplyDeleteglad to see you are back on track and looking forward to the spring days ahead. i imagine that it will take quite some time to come to terms with the physical separation with your mother and to always be thinking of her. that's not a bad thing, though, is it? to always be thinking about a person you love so dearly? your if-then plan sounds good. wish i could stick to something like that! :) hugs
ReplyDeleteWelcome back:)
ReplyDelete