Cough, cough, cough

I can't seem to get well... I've been sick for a month now, plagued with constant, harsh coughing fits that make me feel like my lungs are turning inside out. I have no energy. I don't sleep well. Been on antibiotics, which did take away the fever and lifted my energy level a little bit. But still the coughing continues.

So I went back to my Dr. again last week. After testing my lung power and listening to me breathe, she said I might have bronchial inflammation. She prescribed an inhaler, which so far hasn't helped at all. It does make me feel as though I consumed 17 consecutive shots of espresso... talk about the jitters. Yikes! Doesn't translate into productive energy, however.

Am I griping. You bet I am. Coughed through my OA meeting this morning. Talking always provokes a spell of coughing, as does even the slightest physical activity, reclining.

OK, stop with the gripes.

Speaking of OA, I've been working on a series of bead embroideries that represent intersections in my life. The one shown below, is about the intersection of me with my higher power.


Writing about it on my art blog, here, helped me to clarify my thoughts and beliefs about my higher power, especially about how it comes from outside of me rather than from within me.

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Gratitude for today: not coughing at the moment, eating fresh-organic lettuces from our garden for dinner every night, hot tea, getting back to reading and writing blogs.

Blogger's Confession

OK, I'm admitting it. This isn't my only blog. I've been writing an art blog for 4 years and managing several other art blogs with multiple authors.

I'm accustomed to writing my blog to a lot of readers, many of whom I know pretty well, having followed their blogs for a long time and in some cases actually meeting them. Lots of images on art blogs. Not so many words. Somewhat personal, but we don't dwell on personal issues for the most part.

So this is quite different. It's so much more personal and so much less designed to appeal to and attract readers. Yet, I am appreciative of readers and their comments. I like it when I'm able to share something personal and important and see that it was heard (or, as I like to think of it, witnessed). And I've already come to care about you other weight-fit-food-eat bloggers. That feels good. Also I like making commitments and being accountable for them to more than myself and more than an e-page of words.

I have two different blogger identities. My identity here is Peacefulbird, which is a name given to me when I was in China 18 years ago. For the other blogs, I use my real name. It's not that I want to hide my full identity... I decided to use my Chinese name because of the anonymous nature of OA. It feels a little odd... almost like I have a split personality.


Tonight I decided to post a picture of my most recent collage, called Forgive (click on picture to make it bigger). It's appropriate because I began this piece when I was first starting my sobriety program with OA. I knew that forgiveness was going to be a key to changing my habits, so that is the concept behind this improvisationally designed piece.

I guess by showing my art here, I'm shifting this blog, originally started as a private journal, more into the realm of community, exchange and readership. I hope it will be a good thing for me to make this change.