after seeing some "new lakes"
along the way
resulting from torrential rains
guess it's much worse
in the southern part of the state
settled into guest bedroom
in my brother's house
feels good to be here
using his wife's laptop
taking a walk with them this morning
enjoying a sense of quiet
knowing I don't have to drive
for 400+ miles today
yet at the same time feeling anxious
avoiding going to the nursing home
to see Mom, who is nearly 94
family tell me she's a lot more confused
than the last time I was here
yet physically stronger
they warn me about
how difficult it is
to communicate with her
I am avoiding it
reading blogs
writing this blog
thinking about washing my car
thinking it's her lunchtime now
thinking she'll probably have a nap
after lunch
feeling my feeling
fear
fear of impending loneliness
sad
sad to see her decline
longing
longing to connect with her
I will hold her hands
massage them with lotion
gently reminding us both
of how much I love her
Big huge tears for my friend.
ReplyDeleteFor my friend's mother.
Sadness for her sadness,
but glad that she can still
touch her mother's hands.
Love,
Terri
Wish I could send you a real hug...but can only manage virtual one and my hopes for a blessed visit with your mom.
ReplyDeleteWow - what Terri said! I was thinking the same but could not have put it into beautiful verse like that.
ReplyDeleteSending you thoughts of strength of spirit and peace...
ReplyDeleteOh, that is hard. Your poetry greatly honors your mom.
ReplyDeleteHUGS!! You can make these times with her and your brother's family special.
In Hospice we say:
ReplyDelete"Every Day Is A Gift!"
Cliche but true.
I hope your time with your sweet Mother
is all that you need it to be!