don't like the pity pot
really don't
so...
trying to stay positive
trying to count blessings
trying to stay focused
trying to keep swimmin'
forward
little tyke in the picture
a lion cub
at the Smithsonian Zoo
got put in the moat
to see if he could swim
a test by his keepers
to see if it's safe
to let him be
with his mommy
he's doin' it
look at that sweet face
a little frightened maybe?
yet his nose is definitely
above water
me too
my nose above water
dog-paddlin'
across the moat
in the dark of the year
don't know what I'll find
on the other side
or how long it will take
to get there
Whatever you find on the other side, even dog paddling is making progress. :- )
ReplyDeleteIt's the dog paddling club!
ReplyDeleteWe're right there with ya.
And least it's not the dog-sinking club.
Whatever that means!
At any rate - it's all good!
Just a little bit more,
and then we'll just shake it all off!
Cute pic:) I suspect it is coming from different things, but you hit home with me today because I was actually thinking to myself that I was having a little pity party earlier. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a "pity pot? I had never heard that phrase. Is it something your parents use to say? I want your blog to be a safe place to let everything out? The hurt, rage, tears, anger, jealousy, fear, envy...whatever it maybe with not judgments. A place where all of you can be expressed & not censored. I don't think I have ever seen anything you have written that is asking for pity...understanding maybe, encouragement, acceptance, but not pity.
ReplyDeletepity pot
ReplyDeleteall about feeling
sorry for oneself
sitting on the pity pot
remaining in a state
of self pity
almost relishing it
expanding self pity
for its own sake
ugly place
place of being stuck
blinders on eyes and heart
place where ladders fail
self-perpetuating place
of self-centered gloom
When I catch myself in the pity whirlpool, I *make* myself do something--anything!--to break the spell. Sometimes it takes a few tries. :) The main thing is to just keep dog-paddling until you find what works.
ReplyDeleteI've not made time to read many blogs and haven't commented on many --blogs that involve heart or mind or spirit that is. Only because my own are kinda shagged out right now. So I just read yours starting with your pictures from the trip to current and the issue of coming home to a husband who can't say he misses you and who you tip toe around in fear. Oh how familiar. You are so eloquent, by the way, and I'm just throwing words at the screen right now.
ReplyDeleteI think I understand (I'll project my stuff on to you, soul sista). I think you have to think back to that trip--driving through the Land of Giants. Feeling amazement. Feeling joy. Feeling love and not to mention the UNCONDITIONAL love you felt back in Minnesota. And then you come home to someone who is like a grumpy bear, who doesn't accept your joy or have interest in your love. Well, Maybe there is -that, I don't really know. But not in the words you choose and share.
What I'm getting at is that you were flying like a bird through prairies and mountains and with your new wind-giant friends and then settled back on your small island that sometimes sounds claustraphobic (though lovely too). Of course, you would feel defeated or depleted or diminished or whatever you are feeling. Sometimes the small island, the small cabin, the coziness is what we need. And sometimes it won't ever be enough again because you've really flown now.
Ok. That's just me. You have to figure what is really right for you. But I could put myself and my husband in to your roles with our history and that is how I would feel. What I would want to do about it is open ended. I would probably fight him to get back in the game. That is what I do. I would plead and talk and write letters and color pictures and whatever I needed to do. Cause that is what I am doing. We have our issues, but bottom line there is love. Because I know the capacity that my husband has for joy and love I would fight because he just has to be reminded to pull his nose out of his own crap and live life. But if I only met resistance and no give or take or halfway measures...that is the question of .what would I do.