Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Fifteen degrees, wind howling, whipping the branches this way and that, blowing the snow into clouds that scud along the ground gathering size as they go, chilly even in the house with a wood stove fire blazing all day, I'm wrapped in a down comforter, woolly slippers, wool sweater and fleece vest... and still I'm feeling the brrrrr.

Oddly, more than personal confrontations, this vengeful show of nature's power has me wanting to eat. All day and all evening the kitchen has been calling my name. "Come here, my pet, you need something... maybe a few crackers? a few nuts? or perhaps a grilled cheese sandwich? what about popcorn?"

Entitlement thinking. I deserve to eat.

I went for a walk. Put full feeders out for the birds. I drank tea... and more tea. And still the kitchen calls.

Note to storm: You are a challenge, displaying your awesome force like this. You frighten me. I'm afraid the power will go out, a tree will fall on one of our buildings, the water pump will freeze, animals and birds will die; I'm nervous about chimney fires, cracked engine blocks, frozen pipes. Your noise scares me. I am naming my feelings rather than making popcorn.

I am entitled to my feelings; I deserve to feel.


  1. Eeeek! I'd be frightened in your shoes. Our boiler broke down at the weekend (no heat and no hot water) so I can relate to the Brrrrrr. Fortunately, we didn't have a storm and it is fixed now.

    I know you want to stick to your eating plan but feeling so cold and wanting food go hand in hand. A good nourishing meal will make you feel warmer and if you feel warmer you won't be craving food so much.

    Hope the storm is soon over. As long as you have an internet connection we are all here for you, just an email away :-)

  2. Hopefully writing about it helped break the kitchen's hold on you:)

  3. I think coral-seas is right on this one...it's natural to try to eat when you're cold...fuel to stoke your inner furnace.
    How about a nice big pot of soup or stew that you can dip into during the day...no sugar triggers and the warmth and smell will make you feel warmer and snugger.
    (every now and then, a cigar is just a cigar, ya know, lol!)

  4. You know it's an "ego trick"
    And won't deliver what it promises....
    If you eat it, you will know.
    And if you don't eat it, you will know.
    So either way, we learn -
    So it's all good!

    About the noises of the storm....
    I think I/we/you/me/we all
    react to things like that
    because it reminds us of our own
    power and unpredictability -
    And THAT's what scares us...

    Not so much the storm and the snow.
    It might be beautiful and cozy!
    Or at least neutral.

    Peace to you! ☺

  5. I am so grateful that you wrote. I too have been feeling really frightened by the cold & wind & snow...thinking about the power going out, a tree falling on the house, something happening that I don't know how to fix. I also feel frightened for all the people who might not get to a shelter to stay warm. Well I just am proud of you for feeling and writing & resisting the urge to block your feelings with food.


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