Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Hello.... again

Two and a half years it's been since I last posted, good years in some ways and rough in some ways. I quit OA and gradually I quit my abstinence program, especially in the year since trump went on the campaign trail and began to... akkkkkkkk.... don't get me started on him. Talk about anger and resentment. Whoooosh. I should work the steps about my relationship to mr. trump. I really should. In the past 5 months I went heavily back into binging on chocolate. Daily.

Two weeks ago I started abstinence on chocolate. again. I pray for help with this, because chocolate is the mother of all my addictions. I can not do it alone. Chocolate is poison to me, because when I start consuming it, I can not stop... 800, 1,000, 2,000 calories a day in chocolate and very little else. Alcoholics understand this. Most others do not. My internal systems don't like it. I get sick a lot. Plus I've gained almost all my weight back. Again. And that makes me uncomfortable and less active. Sugar isn't so hot either, I will eat almost anything with sugar until it is gone. So, I hope to become abstinent on cake, cookies, pastries, candy, ice cream as well as chocolate. Today I was not. I don't know about tomorrow.

I've missed my blogger friends. I need you now more than ever because I don't have OA anymore.

5 comments:

  1. Hey, you. I don't spend any time in the blog world anymore but just the other night was in bed thinking about posting myself! You can do this!!!!!!!

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    1. Thanks, Karen! I hope you WILL post again... I'll check as soon as I send this.

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  2. You did it before and you can do it again! Welcome back!

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    1. Thanks, Robbie. I didn't expect anybody to comment... it's so special!

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  3. Big welcome back hugs to you! I haven't blogged much lately either. Once in a blue moon. Most of the time, I just don't feel like I have anything to say; the rest of the time am up to my eyeballs learning medical stuff and how to get healthy.

    Just one thing that may (or may not) encourage you. When I started my low carb, sugar free journey about 8 years ago, I made a deal with myself. I could splurge and buy good quality sugar free chocolate (meaning expensive!) and have some every evening with my tea.

    Fast forward to this year. I realized just a few days ago that only once in a while am I get out a bit of my sugarfree chocolate in the evenings. I would forget!! As though the pull has let up, and I don't think about it as often. I can remember when my "stash" got low, and I would almost panic. Now... meh.

    And I didn't DO anything, just busy with life. So... all that to say... be kind to yourself and maybe allow your heart to gently lead you to where YOU need to be.

    That's what I'm doing,too, so it's not just pretty sounding words. After being put on anti-tumor meds, I gained 30 lbs in 2 months; pounds that had taken me 3 years to lose!! Aarrghh... it's hard to have it back again, after all the work to lose it.

    For me, it's time for a gentler and more peaceful approach. A more stress free and kinder approach. Focusing on things to be grateful for... all that stuff. :-D I hope you find those things for yourself, too, Robin.

    Huge hugs!
    Retta

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it very much.