Today the deli department of our grocery store offered platters laden with samples of three different kinds of cookies!
Forty-six days ago I would have had one or two samples of each type on my way into the store (rear entrance from the parking lot). Then, I would have done some of my shopping and wandered by the deli again for seconds. If they were especially good cookies, I might have returned again for thirds. After paying for my groceries (at the front of the store), I would have swung past the deli again for a final handful of cookie samples on my way out of Dodge.
Did the deli clerks recognize me each time? Did they make judgments about me? I always wondered about that... But it didn't stop me.
In fact, the beginning of the end of my recent Weight Watchers victory began with eating those tasty little temptations. Late last fall, our newly-remodeled grocery store was being very generous with samples. Every day the bakery and deli featured at three or more sample platters. Nearly every day I'd find some excuse to hit the platters.
I'm just having a few little bites. It won't matter. I'll eat a little less at dinner. I don't know how to count the points, so I'll just ignore them. Chocolate too... there were samples of chocolate decadence cake, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate biscotti...
I'd been chocolate-abstinent for two years, but eating little chocolate samples was all it took to start bingeing on it again. Eating little everything samples was all it took to start buying bakery treats, eating deserts at restaurants and a return to the whole crazy, food-dependent, weight-gaining way of life again.
Today, thank the universe, I walked right by the platters. Yes, I noticed them. Yes, the samples looked as tasty as always. Yes, there was a moment of temptation when the voice in my head said, Shall we? Just one?
Something is much different now. No tricky point or calorie-count manipulations. No arguing with the voice in my head. No exceptions. There is comfort in abstinence. I feel joy and satisfaction knowing that, one day at a time, I do not eat food samples in the grocery store.