On the other hand "Should I _____" is one of the most damaging two-word questions on earth. The reason why "Should I ____" gets me in trouble is because it implies a "yes" or "no" answer. Black or white. Right or wrong. Judgements! Questions rarely have an absolute answer. Life just isn't like that. There are always grey areas and most of time an agreeable or practical answer is somewhere between "yes" and "no." So I change the question.
I've finally learned this lesson when it comes to my art. These days I rarely ask my self questions like:
- What should I do next?
- How should I finish this?
- Should I put this here?
- What might I do next?
- How might I finish this?
- What if I put this here?
Now, what if I apply this practice to my recovery?!!! Eureka! Earlier today, I recall hearing a voice in my head asking questions like this:
- Who should I ask to be my OA sponsor?
- Should I add ice cream to my list of abstinence foods?
- How should I interpret my meal plan about no snacks?
- Should I make it OK to nibble and taste while I'm cooking?
- Who might I ask to be my OA sponsor?
- What if I add ice cream to my list of abstinence foods for a while?
- How might I interpret my meal plan about no snacks?
- What if I make it OK to nibble and taste while I'm cooking?
OK, that's a change I can make! I will be more mindful of my language regarding recovery. Goodbye to"should" and welcome to "what if" and "might!"