Sometimes my world is sooooooo small. My husband and my friends want the best for me, yes. And at the same time they are part of the old me, my old ways with food and addiction... my habits all wrapped up with family and friends and the past.
Sometimes my world is sooooooo expanded by the new connections found through this Words Paint journey. I discover inspiration and hope almost every day both in the process of writing and the words of others.
Yesterday, PJ's post gave me a huge bouquet of insights. And today, Big Girl Bombshell's post introduced me to Dr. J and his King is Dead concept (more about this later).
Originally I didn't intend to become part of a blogging community... I thought my recovery journey would be private. If anybody stumbled on it and wanted to read my posts, fine... but I wouldn't get involved. Now, especially with the above two posts, I see how amazing and fertile shared experiences can be. I am changing... more open to and grateful for this community!
Originally I didn't intend to address or acknowledge my readers... I can't help myself... Please check out the links above!
From PJ comes a deeper understanding of the words focus and baby steps. To focus on the necessary baby steps, to focus on the moment, to focus on the big picture.
Baby steps got me through 72 days of abstinence. Then I fell down. OK, I will get up and take more baby steps. Today is day 3 of renewed abstinence. More baby steps. I look in the mirror and see an overweight woman. I turn to the side and see a belly and large legs and flab over my elbow. With PJ's help I focus on the big picture. I recall how much more my belly protruded and how much more flab covered my elbows just three months ago. I remember that what the mirror reveals is only part of the recovery I am experiencing. Baby steps at work here! Focus on sanity, progress and the big picture!
The King is dead; long live the King! The King is my habits. The old King got too full of himself. The old King started out fine. He filled the holes, salved the bruises and comforted the wounds in me. But over time, his cures were worse than my ailments; his cures became my ailments and caused even more discomfort and sorrow than the holes and wounds. That King grew old and now he is dead.
The new King is my new habits. The new King is young and sometimes makes the mistakes of youth. Yet the new King holds great promise. Long live the new King!
With much gratitude for these insights, I sally forth into a moment, a day, a time of focus and baby steps under the guidance of the new King!