Short post, I think, today... because I have no clever tricks, no answers and only a little hope.
My husband and I have just had our first counseling session today. This is our homework: Step 1. She tells us we need to identify our resentments toward one another. Step 2. Then I must realize and acknowlege that only I can fix my own resentments. (And same for him.) Step 3. Then I must focus on the positive things about our relationship, list them, fluff them up a bit, shine a light on them. (And same for him.)
It isn't easy, she says. Darn right it isn't easy. She didn't mention forgiveness, yet I'm fairly certain that must be part of it too. We have to forgive each other and ourselves for our resentments and mistakes.
Feeling my feelings of resentment, realizing they are complex and deep, I know there's a lot of work ahead. Am I willing to do this work? I don't honestly know at this moment.