Monday, October 3, 2011

Been in a slump for a while. Have doubts about my ability to do justice to the book I'm currently writing. Wanting it to be really good and really comprehensive, but not quite knowing how to pull it all together. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes I get bored with it, especially with working on the images, the step-out pictures, in Photoshop. To say it's tedious work is a terrible understatement. My photographic skills and my equipment aren't really up to the job, so I have to spend hours (no exaggeration) working on each photo in Photoshop and still they're not as good as I'd like. Sounds like a gripe. Is a gripe!

Had an accident with my motorcycle a week ago. Damaged my spirits as well as my bike and my foot. Lucky I'm not in a cast though. Spirit damage just adds to the book anxiety.

Then there's my family... three brothers and their wives, sister, 2 nieces, 2 nephews and possibly 1 grandnephew... arriving here next week to scatter Mom's and Dad's ashes. We're not the closest family in many ways, emotionally as well as geographically. I'm nervous about how it will go. My house is a mess... haven't really cleaned, except for the quickest necessities, since I started the book on July 1st. Have never hired a house cleaner, but do have somebody coming on Friday. Expensive, but a blessing, I think. Food, transportation, sleep... all issues. Think I was crazy when I suggested we do it here. Akkkk. Didn't know then that I'd be in the middle of book deadlines now. I guess the cup-half-full news is: I'll get a 1-week break from working on the book. The cup-half-empty news is: I'll have one less week to get everything done for the next deadline.

Obviously, there are some food challenges ahead. I've decided to write a few sentences when I find myself in the kitchen, opening cupboard doors and looking in the refrigerator. OK, so I can eat. But before I do, I will write a couple of sentences in a little kitchen notebook. Maybe I'll choose not to eat after I write. We'll see. It's an experiment.

As I well know, one tool to help me to not overeat and to feel better is gratitude. The earlier paragraphs sound like the cup is more than half empty. So here's my list for today... 10 Things
I'm Grateful For:
  1. kindness, people who are kind to me, especially my women friends
  2. the two people who fought McDonald's in the libel suit and the great documentary movie made about it (McLibel)
  3. everyone in my OA group
  4. women who make spirit-based art, quilts, etc.
  5. our garden
  6. our firewood supply and my husband for doing the work
  7. Julie, Jennifer and Karen (my sisters-in-law)
  8. Janet and her contribution toward sun bear rescue efforts
  9. Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker
  10. Captain Jack
  11. One year+ of abstinence from my binge foods... a huge blessing!
Do I feel better? Perhaps, a little. Time to get some sleep. Good night, world.


  1. I was glad to see number 11 because I see that you let that year mark go by with no fanfare. I think you deserve some major recognition from yourself here! Sorry things are so stressful still. Hugs.

  2. Ouch!
    Get well soon!
    And yay for a year + of abstinence!
    Lots of sleep and good thoughts for you!


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