Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Birthday Girl Missing Mom

Woke up sad today... and a little cross... even though I had a good night's sleep and it's my birthday... even though plans for the day looked like fun. The first fun thing on the agenda was to meet Christy in town for lunch. I hadn't seen her, at least not to have much of a conversation, for quite a while, so was really looking forward to it.

Driving into town the sadness got very heavy, almost to the point of tears. And suddenly I knew what it was about... missing my Mom. For all but the last two of my 69 birthdays, she's told me she loves me in a card and/or in person and/or on the phone. Even though the last two years she wasn't able to remember or if she was she couldn't find a way to send a card, at least she was there, across the miles in Minnesota, loving me.

Being sad isn't a bad thing, or at least wasn't today. I miss my Mom, and especially I missed her today. That's just the way it is. I accept it. Christy is a mother (and a good one!) and she's warm toward me, almost like a mother. When I met her and she hugged me, I felt good again... and loved, not exactly like Mom loved me, but in a good way. We had a great catch-up talk, delicious food, and I drove home no longer feeling sad.

The rest of the day was fun too. My husband and I took my car and his little pick up truck to the car wash, the do-it-yourself type, for a double bath (it's been a while!) Then we came home and waxed them, by hand. Yikes... my arms got a super work out! I grilled NY steaks and made massaged kale salad for dinner. YUM!!!

For two days, yesterday and today, I have not eaten my way through the day. Three meals each day. No snacks, no after dinner munching. It's true also that I haven't written any new pages for the book. But I was able to work on photos in Photoshop, which is actually more time consuming than writing. It's also quite tedious, so to do it without snacks is an accomplishment.

Tomorrow is another day, I'll try for three and I'll try for at least some writing.

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Gratitude for today: Pretty good health for a 69 year old, Liz and Christy, LL, my Mom, dance, music, purring cat by my side when I go to sleep


  1. Happy Birthday :-)

    Congratulations on 2 whole days without snacking, that must feel good. I'm confident you can manage one more.

    Yeah for Christy. There is no love like a Mother's love but a friend who cares, and understands, and knows when a hug is needed, is just as valuable.

  2. Allowing ourself to actually FEEL the unpleasant feelings, rather than trying to numb them... that is huge (and something I am still learning). I'm happy for you that you allowed the love IN that Christy had for you, to help improve your day.

    Two days, on plan. Yay!! You're on a roll.
    Happy Birthday, Robin!

  3. Happy Birthday! I have cards saved (and letters) from my mom and other relatives and I find when I'm missing that 'home' feeling I pull them out and trip down memory lane. Hugs..glad you and your hubby are working together.

  4. Happy Birthday (Late of me - sorry!)
    I know you know this.... BUT.......
    Two steps forward..... one step back
    IS the rhythm of life!
    Hugs and stuff to you!


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