Friday, December 3, 2010

Reviewing Abstinence

Hmmm, just noticed that today is my 64th day of abstinence in round three. That makes a non-cumulative total of over 200 days without a single bite of:
  • chocolate
  • cookies
  • cake
  • pastries
  • candy
  • pie
  • ice cream
By the way, that list is in order of my lust for each item, highest at the top. I like my program very much. I like it that I'm not trying to eliminate all sugar from my diet and that there are still a few treats available to me, like nuts, even glazed nuts in a salad, and crackers.

Truth is, I don't miss those things. They look good, if/when I see them, and they even smell good, sometimes, but I'm not really tempted by them. It's not a struggle and there's no inner dialog about whether or not I can or will or won't have them. This is an unbelievable switcheroo for me, a blessing beyond belief.

Currently, my much more simple food struggles involve portion control and snacking. I have good days, mostly, and a few not so good days in the portion control department. I tend to eat everything on my plate, whether or not I'm full, which tends to be a problem when eating out.

For example, tonight, my husband and I went out to dinner after our marriage counseling session, something we generally do, a neutral place to debrief and review the past 1.5 hours with our counselor. I ordered a three-piece chicken dinner that came with a baked potato and salad bar. After eating one piece of chicken, most of my potato and most of my salad, I noticed that my tummy was measuring satisfied on a scale of hungry to stuffed. I noticed, also that my husband was still eating his prime rib dinner. What is it? Competitive nature? I don't know, but I kept eating... finished the salad and potato and ate one more piece of chicken, at which point I'd have to put myself at full on the scale, maybe even quite full. Finally I quit eating. Yay!

Note to self for future: When you notice you're satisfied , pause for just two minutes. Enjoy the feeling of satisfaction. Notice how the tummy feels. Remember that you do not have to keep up with your husband. Take a deep breath. And THEN decide if you'll eat more. Yeah, yeah, I know... eating lesson 101. I just need to remind myself.

All-in-all, after 200+ days in OA and abstinence, I'm a new person.... happier, more in touch with my feelings, more respectful of myself (and others), much less despairing and resentful!

PS. My husband just reminded me that he took home half his prime rib in a box!


  1. Kudos to 200 days, and more importantly, to getting to the point where you don't even miss those things! But the best part of this post is that new person part:) Good for you.

  2. So next time you can remember this time and your post and maybe that will help. Kudos on your you know that kind of abst. scares I do respect that greatly.

    You are tagged from my blog to answer some questions!

  3. Congratulations on your continued abstinence! I wouldn't want to do it (*shudder*), but I know it's important to YOU! Way to go!

  4. Good work, pb! I eat faster than my husband does which works against me in two ways...I'm going too fast to register FULL when I am, plus I'm also tempted to keep on eating since he is.

  5. "I'm a new person.... happier, "

    Music to my ears, especially the "happier"

    I know that your struggles are not over and you have told us that the holiday period offers many challenges for you but you have done so well, I am proud of all you have achieved in the last 200 days.

    Well done, you.

  6. I'm very proud of you! And that's good advice for all of us, over eaters, or not, to pay attention and notice when that "satisfied" state is reached. I could remember that more often, too.

  7. Why is it that it looks so simple on paper and is so much harder to live? I am thrilled for you and your success!


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