Monday, July 19, 2010

Entitlement Thinking

Here's the concept, plain and simple:
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because my ballet teacher said I was too large to be a dancer.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because my parents didn't bother to come to my dance performance.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because my daddy was killed in a car accident and my mama abandonded me to my grandparents so she could go back to school.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because I was sick in bed for an entire year and "mistreated" in the hospital.
Those are the big ones. Here are some of the itty-bitty, forgettable ones I've used:
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because my husband's being mean to me.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because I'm really stressed out about work.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because the stock market crashed and I lost most of my savings.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because we've been snowed in for over a week.
  • I am entitled to eat anything I want any time I want because I'm here at this art opening, adrift among people I don't know.
I've practiced entitlement thinking, especially about food, most of my life. It's time to stop. Time to realize that my circumstances are normal events that happen in everyone's life... nothing special or unique about them.... just part of the normal ups and downs of life. Humility may be the antidote to entitlement thinking.
My prayer to Universe & Life Force:

Teach me humility
that I may stand with others
and not above them.

Show me humility
that I may confess my errors
and retrace my steps.

Grant me humility
that I may forgive my mistakes
and learn from them.

I'll close this post with a quote about humility by Ralph W. Stockman.

"True humility is intelligent self respect which keeps us from thinking too highly or too meanly of ourselves. It makes us modest by reminding us how far we have come short of what we can be."

6 comments:

  1. Even now I occasionally catch myself thinking, "I deserve" such-and-such luscious food because "this horrible thing" happened. I've learned to reassure myself that I do, indeed, deserve that luscious food and more besides for having that horrible thing happen, but I deserve to be healthy even more. Do not ask me why this works now, but it didn't work for the previous 47 years. :)

    wishing you peace...

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  2. I definitely thought I was entitled to overeat (even though it was all healthy food on my plan) this weekend when I was an emotional wreck. I really thought about it at the time. But until I read this I did not think about it as entitlement thinking.

    I have to say thought that I am not sure what I think about the humility part. Does that come from OA? Because I wonder if you should not be humble right now, but instead, proud and believing you deserve the best that life has to offer. (Not food, of course.) Humility sort of implies the opposite of that. Some sense of unworthiness.

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  3. Very interesting Peaceful. I can always count on you for a thought-provoking post. That IS entitlement thinking, and I've certainly done it, as illogical as it may be....

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  4. I think that it may be true in life that we really are entitled to do whatever we want... But it is the humility that helps me realize that simply being entitled to something does not mean it is the right thing for me at a given time. Just because I can do something doesn't mean I ought to to do it. I hadn't thought too much about that before I read this entry. Thanks.

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  5. When we really examine that kind of thinking it all falls apart, doesn't it? After all, when things are going badly is when we need to be at our best! Not loaded down with unhealthy food and bad habits.

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  6. I really enjoyed this post. I've been struggling with the idea that if I do good all day, or all week, I can eat poorly once or twice (or for the whole weekend) and not suffer the consequence. It doesn't work that way. thank you for posting this.

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it very much.