Saturday, October 9, 2010

Two Rings

I'm wearing two rings
on a chain around my neck
two gold rings
each with this inscription inside

august 3, 1949

one is my mother's wedding ring
the other is my dad's

when Dad died
four years ago
Mom wore his ring
as I am now
on a golden chain
around her neck

thinking he is still alive
and married to one of her nurses
she decides
not to wear either ring

my sister in law had them
and offered one to me

no, I said
these rings should stay together

she said I could have them both

is it right?
should I keep them?
I don't know the answer
about should or shouldn't

they mean a lot to me

touching them often
thinking about marriage
thinking about
how compatible my parents were
aware that it's a rare thing
aware of the times
when my husband and I
enjoy that type of togetherness

how did my parents
deal with their differences
the moments when respect fell away
the times when their paths parted
for surely they felt gravel underfoot
just as we do

I wear these rings
touching them often
hoping to find a way
to remain in my marriage


  1. Well, yes you should have them. Don't think twice that you have them. They mean more to you than to any other sibbling, I'm sure. Things have a way of getting away from us when our loved ones leave this earth. You would be sorry then if you didn't have them. Your mother would want you to have them, I feel sure.

    Maybe they will give you strength in dealing with your own issues.

    I was curious about one of your comments. I have been married 39 years and I don't think there was ever a moment I didn't respect Terry. I did have a couple, ~lol~, that I didn't like him very much at that moment though.

    I hope that you are able to work this out. You are certainly trying.

    Best Wishes and a safe return home.

  2. I find the timing of your receiving the rings, on this particular trip when you're thinking about your marriage, to be interesting.

  3. Well, you are absolutely right that the rings should be together and if you want them, if they mean as much to you as I suspect they do, then absolutely you should have them.

  4. You should definitely keep the rings, they are a precious memento and came to you at this point for a reason I think.

    Some thoughts on marriage you decide that 1) you love them no matter what, even when you can't stand to be in the same room together and need to take a break ... 2) decide that divorce is not an option, it changes your perception when you decide to willingly compromise because there is no other choice... this last one is a bit abrupt/harsh 3) if they died tomorrow would you regret them not being in your life any more.
    It's easy to walk away when you can picture them having a life with out you alive and well, it's something else entirely when you look at yourself and realize that it changes how you feel about it when you picture an alternative.

    I'm not saying these are perfect, just some thoughts to ponder maybe to offer different perspectives.
    I think you are just in a rough patch and it just needs a little figuring out.


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