Been a month nearly since Peaceful Bird wrote anything here in the land of Words Paint. That's too long.
I've been writing lots of words... my first book submission on Sept. 1 was about 16,000 of them, plus 118 images, about the same number of 3D objects, an art log and a contact sheet for all the images. These words are fun to write and challenging in a good way. But they are words about beads, words that come from the mind mostly... a little from the heart and soul, I guess, but mostly the intellect... orderly, sane, comprehensive, in the style required by the publisher.
These are not the words of a food addict, someone who overeats and binges. That part of me goes underground while I'm writing the book. In our OA meeting last Saturday, I suggested the topic of "Relapse." Although I'm not yet eating any of my binge foods, remaining totally abstinent on them, I feel dangerously close to the edge of that old binge insanity. I have been overeating and snacking... gaining at least a few pounds by the feel of my jeans and loosing self esteem with every extra bite. I said that at the OA meeting.
A few of the members who've been around the block for many years had some good wisdom to offer. One talked about the OA tools available to us and named them. When I heard the word "write" I knew instantly that Words Paint could help me step away from the edge. So here I am, writing my little heart out. My plan is to write as often as possible, but not to participate in the blog world right now, not until my second and third (final) submissions are finished. But, write I must.
Another tool for me has been gratitude. When I feel gratitude, it takes over my being, warms me, takes away the desire to feed myself with foods. So part two of my new plan is to list my gratitude at the end of each post.
That's all for now. I'm making a commitment to writing and gratitude....
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Today's gratitude list: little green tree frogs, our garden, fresh vegetables, my husband, Lisa, Christi and Liz, Beethoven, opportunities, challenges, members of the local OA group, nippy fall mornings
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I didn't believe that I'd get beans from a second seed sowing. But they are coming! The warmth from this "Indian Summer" has brought them on even though there were no guarantees. Sometimes, we just have to TRY.
ReplyDeleteWRITE.
Peacefulbird. This is a full word.
Congratulations on making the first book submission and good luck with the second and third submissions.
ReplyDeleteCongratulation on 348 days of abstinence from your trigger foods.
Rather selfishly, I am pleased that you have chosen writing as one of your recovery tools. I enjoy reading your words, enjoy the pictures you paint. My heart jumps when Words Paint or Beadlust show up bold in my Google Reader :-)
Me too! Glad to see you're writing. I am like coral -- love it when the bold in the google reader shows up
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you again! Let the words you write take you away from the edge one little syllable at a time. You are a strong woman to have made it without your binge-foods so far! I am very proud of you.
ReplyDelete"...and loosing self esteem with every extra bite."
ReplyDeleteWow... that says it all. My previous life story.
I'm glad you have this outlet. And I totally get it--and can appreciate--why you are writing but not blog reading.
Blessings on your creative work for your book!
I'm grateful that I get to read from your heart side, whenever you get the chance to share. :-)
I'm glad to see a post because you have been on my mind, wondering how you were, guessing very busy and maybe stressed about the book. I see you are quickly approaching a year!
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