Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I Could Eat 2 Dozen...

Earlier this afternoon I told my husband
I could eat 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies
He said he'd get me 3 dozen
just in case I ate 2 and wanted more

What's with that, I wonder

Binge foods haven't been calling
not for quite a long time
Things are going pretty well
I got caught up on my art blog today
Check it out if you're interested
The weather's OK

Maybe it's about the counseling
Maybe there was an inkling in our session
last evening
that we could fix things up
enough to stay together
Maybe that is frightening to me
Maybe being on my own again
feels desirable
more desirable than being with
a man I care for deeply
but with whom I feel unimportant

Maybe the cookies would help
But probably they would not


  1. No the cookies would make you feel worse in the long run :( Go for a little stroll instead and clear the head...or treat yourself to something special that isn't food :)

  2. I have a thought to offer, PB. Spots that are empty (even within us) want to be filled. It's the way of existence, science, the law of gravity, & lots more too probably. The feeling of unimportance, well, that is an empty spot - located maybe within our spirit, our soul? But cookies go in the stomach. They are not *soul* food. A full tummy can't help us feel important....only soul/spirit food can do that.

    Just me think'in. Luv ya.

  3. I'm sorry you feel unimportant. That is a lonely feeling to have in a partnership. Sometimes my husband feels unimportant in our marriage, and I do everything I can to let him know how important he is to me. We got together because we both liked living alone so much, so we each knew the other would understand the need for alone time as well as together time. I can really understand that desire to be on your own again.

    Obviously you didn't have the cookies, but I have to say I was a little shocked by your husband's response. Cookies would not have helped, I'm thinking.

    When I'm down and/or trying to decide something, often I'll just "run away" from the whole deal and work on some art project or another. The problem I'm thinking about can then just "percolate" awhile without my paying any attention to it, and that works for me. I often see things clearly or differently when I add what my veterinarian calls "a tincture of time." This does not work for most of the people I know, though.

  4. No, the cookies won't help (I liked Sweetpea's comment about them not being Soul food)

    Perhaps a list of 10 things will.

  5. No, they would probably not. And maybe they would make things worse:( Love the poetry today.

  6. The cookies - were once "shorthand" for love.
    But now they are something else altogether!
    Good that you didn't listen to them.
    They lie!
    Hope you find nest, and soon, dear Peaceful Bird!
    Bit by bit, as they say.... the bird builds her nest.
    Bit by bit.

  7. It doesn't seem as if your husband quite understands your relationship to some foods? I know it took chuck a long time to "get it" when I was dieting last year.

  8. Cookies only seem to help in the five minutes (or less) it takes me to eat them. After that, no help at all!

    I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Somedays are diamonds, somedays are stones. You can quote me on that.

    Your art blog is beautiful!


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