Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sounding the Bread Alarm...

This morning I stopped at our local bakery to deliver a message to a friend who works there... Fresh bread smells from the moment I opened my car door. Rustico, my favorite crusty baguette, was piled high and still warm. Oooo-la-la!

I don't buy much bread any more. It's not on my binge list, but is definitely a trigger for binge thinking and I've been known to lust for bread. Once in a while I buy a loaf, take it home, cut it in roll-sized portions and freeze them individually. Then when we're having a light, salad dinner, I take one from the freezer, thaw it, slice it in half, butter it and broil the slices, toasting them nicely to have with our salads.

In the 136 days since starting OA, I haven't had a problem with bread.... until today. Yep, I bought a loaf of that luscious Rustico, thinking I'd do the usual. But no, that nasty stuff called my name as soon as I got in the car. Just the tip of the baguette, while it's still totally fresh and warm, I thought. Oh, that was good... hmmm, maybe just a bit more... Oh, yum, guess I'll tear off one more chunk....

As I was automatically reaching to tear yet another piece, the voice of my collective OA group penetrated the yeasty aroma saying, "Can you see what you're doing here? Can you see the addict in the car? It's not your meal time. This isn't in your food plan." Yikes! That pulled me up short. Rather than eat more, I folded the bag closed and set my mind to a majorly difficult task. It worked. I got home with no further damage.

But then, at home, the monster suggested I slice the part I had torn with a knife to make the loaf look nice and tidy. How I'd love to say I resisted the monster. Nope... slice & munch. OK, but that's it!

But then, later this evening, the monster got me again. A little hungry. Rain, pouring rain. Walking partner cancelled. Woe is me... I sliced off another piece, put butter and peanut butter on it and ate it right there standing at the kitchen counter. This was a major cheat and it frightens me.

OA collective voices, I need you!

OK, I hear you... I'm going to take a short time-out here and go slice and bag the remainder of the Rustico and put it into the freezer.

Done! (with no nibbles, thanks of OA voices)

Here's what I've decided. Since bread was not on my abstinence list, I will not restart my count. However, as of right now, bread goes on Red Alert status. More than one slice per day will, from now on, be considered a breech of abstinence. And I do NOT want to start my count again. The other members of my OA group do not count their days of abstinence. I think perhaps they are not totally abstinent on any foods. For me, both abstinence and counting are important. I shall continue to do both.


  1. Who hasn't been there, done that?
    That's why I don't even go down the aisle
    in the store..... why tempt fate?
    Onward and downward!

  2. Don't beat yourself up over it. You had a slight slip up but you learnt from it so it's not a disaster. Everyone has a slip now and then. You're doing really well :)

  3. Very eloquent tribute to the force of bread!!

    I'm surrounded by designer bread when I go to the pantry on Saturdays. No fresh baked smell, but the crusty, lusty lure of sourdough, sunflower wheat, ciabatta, French, Italian, olive loaf, etc., etc.

    Make me stop!!

    I'm glad you're giving yourself a break on the "count", and that you banished that bad boy to the freezer. Live and learn. Again.

  4. Bread is not my friend. It used to be. Maybe I have given too much power to the food.

    I think you have a great plan and you heading things off before they got out of control. I need to learn from this!

  5. Well done, Robin. Ok, you and the monster had a bit of a tug-of-war today and at times he was pulling you over the line, but in the end, you dug your heels in and stood your ground.

    I am so proud of how you are doing and delighted to see the counter at 60 days and still counting :-D

  6. Developing "counter attacks" when faced with these obstacles is a huge step in the right direction, even when it entails a misstep or two. :)

  7. You are an inspiration to me, pb. I had my 3 month labs done today and will find out next week how I'm doing on controlling my diet. If I need work, you'll be the one I think of as I work out a new plan.


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