Saturday, May 8, 2010

Ask and You Get!

Today was my fourth OA meeting. I've been feeling a need for a sponsor, but we have a very small group, most of them working folks, some with families. I assume they sponsor one another so that everyone is already in a sponsoring relationship. Knowing what it's like to add one more commitment to a busy life, I felt quite hesitant to ask anyone, even if I put it to them that they could say "no" with no hard feelings on my part.

Some thoughts I was having about asking for a sponsor:
  • nobody will want to take on an extra task
  • I'm doing well with abstinence
  • I'm following my food plan
  • what I really need is help with the spiritual part of this
  • I am and have been agnostic most of my life
  • "God" is a word that has many negative connotations for me
  • prayer makes me feel uncomfortable
  • religions of the world are responsible for much chaos and suffering
  • nobody would want to work with me given the above
Two comments to my post about nibbling really helped me over the hurdles! PJ said, "It sounds like you need to say it out loud that you need a sponsor , since there are so few people maybe some one could volunteer to be an initial sponsor for a trial period to get you started. " And Julie said, "Being in a 12 step program myself I know the importance of service work and what we get out of it. A person should feel honored to be asked to sponsor you because that's what we do to stay sober/abstinent."

Because of PJ and Julie, I gathered my courage today and put it out to my group that I needed a sponsor. I "fessed up" about my lack of religious faith and just asked if there was anybody who would consider working with me to please let me know.

After the meeting, J came to me and volunteered! I felt a flood of relief and gratitude. Turns out J hasn't sponsored anybody yet, but has been working the 12 steps for three years. For starters, she agreed to read my blog. She'll get a pretty good idea of where I am in the process from that. I think we'll do well together...

Now the difficulty is knowing when I need to ask for help and feeling OK about asking. One day at a time... One step at a time... I have a sponsor, that's the first step. Time is on my side... lots of time ahead... Thank you, PJ and Julie for helping me get started! And thank you, J, for the blessing and gift of your sponsorship.


  1. Funny how things sometimes come together. I hope you find what you are looking for and that J and you develop a wonderful, supportive relationship.

  2. Good morning, Peaceful!

    Well, that just sounds ideal!

    PJ and Julie were so right on. I'm so glad that they were there to help with your dilemma, and that their advice led you to J.

    I have found that many times, people do want to help, we just have to tell them how.

    You will figure out when to got to J for support. It will work out.

    Enjoy your day!


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