Thursday, May 6, 2010

One Little Problem

As yet I don't have an OA sponsor. Saturday will be my fourth meeting, so I'm still quite the newbie. The group is very small and everyone in it seems to have been doing this for a long time. I hope to get a sense of who might be a willing and appropriate sponsor for me soon because right now I feel a bit adrift, rudderless.

For example, my food plan... It seems easy and straight forward. Three meals a day, only what will fit on one plate or one bowl, nothing between meals and no snacks. From Holy Hunger, I get the idea that making a plan and sticking to it is an important recovery tool. It seems that commitment and keeping one's promise to oneself is just as important as what and how much one eats.

So here is my one little problem... meal preparation. I am accustomed to tasting... OK, I admit it... more than tasting... one might say nibbling as I prepare meals. Oh, a wee dried cranberry rolled off the plate onto the breadboard. Pop! It goes in my mouth. Cutting the meat off of the bones? Here's a little tidbit... Pop! Into my mouth with it. Cutting up avocado? Naturally it gets on my fingers. Pop! They go right into my mouth.

Technically, this is breaking my commitment unless I change my food plan to allow a bit of tasting/nibbling/finger-licking during meal preparation. I've been debating with myself about this for three days. Shall I change the plan? Or shall I make a commitment and stick to it about not tasting as I go? Will I be setting myself up for failure if I commit to being strict about this?

I need some practical guidance from a sponsor.

Abstinence from my binge foods is going really well. I was tempted yesterday several times. We live on a remote island. It's a big deal... a whole, long, day-trip... to go to the mainland to shop at places like Costco and supermarkets. So the first temptation was the drive-thru where I always used to get coffee and a delicious, home-made berry scone. Yesterday, it was coffee only for me! The second place was Costco, where I used to graze through all the food-sample demos. No samples touched my lips! The third was a supermarket with a fantastic bakery, where I was accustomed to picking out one or more delicacies to devour in the car. Walked right by the bakery counter without stopping! Oh it called to me, sang its siren song... but I lowered my eyes and walked on by!

So all-in-all, guess I'll give myself a pat on the back and grateful thanks to the universe, despite the meal-prep nibbles.


  1. It sounds like you are doing so well, nibbling aside. How about chewing gum while you cook?

  2. To Karen ~ Gum! That's a great idea... I'll try it immediately! Thanks!

  3. Hey Peaceful,

    I'mmmm bbbacckkkk! I just left a lengthy comment on your May 4th post, plus an apology for overlooking it at the time.

    You were right, by the way, it was hard to get back to blogging after my personal post.

    OK, I see you with a big wad of gum in your mouth! Just last week, I bought the sugarless kind that comes in the little plastic jar. It was the best gum value at my favorite store, COSTCO!!! I'm going there later today to buy some of my Mother's Day meal supplies.

    I think nibbling can really get out of control, so that's why you should gnaw on that wad of gum. It's hard on us women because we are usually the family cooks. We have to hang around food from grocery store to clean-up. It sucks, frankly, and I'm not shy about telling my husband about it, considering he can't do anything in the kitchen except make a burnt grilled cheese sandwich (and a huge mess).

    OK, enough about me! Good luck finding that sponsor. Surely someone will match up with you. I think you had a lot of courage to join OE, and I admire you for it.

  4. stopping by quickly during lunch..good for you on meeting all those challenges...I find there are times when it is safer for me to just not go there and chance it at all..other times I can handle it, other times I'm totally ok with having a scone with my coffee and no regrets. It's all about changing patterns and habits that don't work for you and tuning in to self..I have a feeling the nibbling has gotta go though. I'm still needing to lose weight , so less nibbling for me is the better route.

    I second the idea of gum some sugar free flavors you like and some you have never tried. be daring. I was in the habit of hitting the brachs pick a mix at the grocery store and 1 cinnamon disc became 2 and then 3. As a child I could eat half a bag of those. Now it's sugar free gum pop it in as you exit the car.

    Sponsor-wise I am a bad example. When I did my first stint through OA I was too shy , too inhibited to have a sponsor but used my therapist as one. It sounds like you need to say it out loud that you need a sponsor , since there are so few people maybe some one could volunteer to be an initial sponsor for a trial period to get you started. Anyway , you are on the right track.

    People define their abstinence differently -what works for them. I am always recalibrating myself. When I get really hungry at 4 pm -physical hunger it makes sense to have a healthy snack. I think a sponsor would be best to weigh in on that. There are different thought processes on it all around.

    Sounds like you are doing great. If things ever slide the other way, never be ashamed or reluctant to say so. this is progress not perfection.

  5. Being in a 12 step program myself I know the importance of service work and what we get out of it. A person should feel honored to be asked to sponsor you because thats what we do to stay sober/abstainant. I wonder if you just be accountable to what you nibble does that make it different, not sneaky? Just a thought. I also want to tell you how much I am getting out of your words. I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words and you are so it helps me so much. Thanks. Julie C

  6. To All ~ Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions about nibbling. Funny thing happened... After posting this and reading the comments, I've been mindful about nibbling and just haven't done it. It's probably not a very sanitary habit anyway. No gum yet, but that's my backup plan in case it gets too difficult to abstain during meal prep.


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